@Smethanie: The Macarena began playing through the dental office speakers as I lied helpless with the hygienist's hands in my mouth today. #survivor
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@ThaJawn: Werewolf's wife: IDGAF! It's a full moon tonight and I will not have you shedding all over! Outside, now!
@bingowings14: Shazam but for telling you the name of someone who's only just been introduced to you 5 minutes ago but you weren't listening.
@karatechopmonk: I tried coke once. And then for like another 3 years to make sure I didn't like it
@StatusInBeirut: If you think being a vegetarian will make you thin, I direct your attention to cows.