@Smethanie: The Macarena began playing through the dental office speakers as I lied helpless with the hygienist's hands in my mouth today. #survivor
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@Kendragarden: My parents let me watch Grease constantly when I was a kid & then they were all, whoa why is our teenager always super drunk in tight pants?
@jergarl: The year is 2057: Friday the 13th part 573.... Jason finds a fabulous pair of shoes to match his outfit.
@brendohare: People keep coming up to me & saying "You have the right amount of hair my son." Is this normal? Does anyone else have this problem? Hello??
@aksorojas: I just discovered that first aid kits do not include slices of pizza in it and I feel so betrayed.