@Breadery: The Macarena is pretty menacing if you do it in silence in the queue at the bank.
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@alexqarbuckle: Mike Pence getting booed at Hamilton is the worst thing to ever happen to a politician at a play
@nbadag: [to an inflatable tube man waving outside a car dealership] i feel like you're overreacting. these are moderate savings at best
@BoozeWallet: [at gym] me: [wiping down equipment after finishing with it] cute girl: you don't have to do that with the vending machine. are you crying