@omgthatspunny: The magician got so mad he pulled his hare out.
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@ruinedpicnic: There's a marble statue of Mr. Peanut sculpted by Michaelangelo in the basement of the Sistine Chapel that only the popes know about
@sixthformpoet: I love how people say they're "expecting" a baby, as though it might be something else, like a penguin.
@Andee_Stewart: I always close the door to the bathroom even if I'm home alone. What if someone broke in and saw me peeing? That would be so embarrassing