@omgthatspunny: The magician got so mad he pulled his hare out.
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@QwertyJones3: HER: You can't even go 5 minutes without making a Star Trek reference. ME: Yes I Khan.
@ambamthankyamam: Send prayers. Laura on Facebook didn't realize she was out of syrup until AFTER the pancakes were made! It's causing quite a stir...
@EndhooS: boss: have you been here all night? me: [jumps awake at my desk] uh, yeah. boss: trouble at home? me: there's a seagull standing on my car