@junejuly12: The main difference between kids and dogs is that kids grow out of following you to the bathroom
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@lawyerthoughts: Dear law students: my opposing counsel just asked her witness how old she was when she turned 18. You'll be fine.
@Just__J0: My daughter labeled me BIRTH GIVER in her phone. I'm thinking about labeling her THANKS FOR WHAT YOU DID TO MY BODY.
@patrickhogan91: Can't get a woman? Rip out your rib and make your own! Critics are raving "this doesn't work" and "I'm bleeding to death".