@Mickey_McCauley: The main problem with gay marriage is when two men hold the knife to cut the cake they will be too strong and cut through the plate & table.
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@ElKnuckelhombre: Wife: I left the kids with you for a half hour & they dumped 3 pounds of sugar in the dryer trying to make cotton candy. Me: Did it work?
@yeetztweetz: this may be controversial to some of you, but ratatouille would demolish stuart little in a fight and it wouldn't even be close
@WistfulBlue: When someone loves you a lot they will buy you a burrito even when you're not hungry so you can get fat and no one else will love you.