@JessObsess: The main reason I don't own a gun is because I would shoot people who scare me when they sneeze.
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@thatUPSdude: Me: This infomercial is so stupid. *10 mins later* Me: So all I have to pay on the 2nd one is the shipping and handling?
@OBiiieeee: Son, your mom and I have been fighting a lot lately and we have decided that *dad piledrives mom into the coffee table* we're gonna go pro.
@oakhillbargrill: Google just threw a drink in my face I deserved it I have no business asking those questions