@MrsMikePatton: The main reason I got divorced is because I got married.
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@shatterpants: You call it premature ejaculation, I call it being 15 minutes early.
@GetCougarized: Big things DO NOT always come in small packages! I wish someone had told me the truth before I pounced on this adorable midget. Poor fella.
@joeljeffrey: Bands who can't afford a smoke machine should hire my girlfriend to cook at their concert
@DrFFurter: Women say they like tall men and I'm probably 6ft 4" in these stilettos and not a single girl in this bar has approached me yet!
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