@AsYouNotWish: The main reason Santa is so jovial is cuz he knows where all the bad girls live.
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@ieatanddrink: A gentleman never eats his soup by soaking it into his tie and squeezing it out into his mouth
@TimDuffy: Thanksgiving is going to be hard this year because half my family dances to remember and the other half dances to forget.
@pharmasean: I grew up in a very sheltered household. Our house had 17 roofs. We had alcoves upon alcoves. I wore a tarp wherever I went.