@AsYouNotWish: The main reason Santa is so jovial is cuz he knows where all the bad girls live.
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@donni: Strawberry is a terrible name. "Ooh, a berry with all the flavor of a straw," you'd think. But you'd be wrong
@1800Randy: I think abs are for guys that don't have the confidence to wear a nice T-shirt to the pool.
@ScottLinnen: Turns out telling a friend "you're giving off a weird vibe tonight" is not the most direct way to tell them they're on fire
@OhNoSheTwitnt: If you're not singing "Hitler Baby one more time" to the tune of Britney Spears' "Hit Me Baby One More Time" I'm sorry but you are now.