@Sickayduh: The mall crowd parts as I shuffle through after waking up naked on the food court floor. "Too pudgy to be a terminator" says one woman.
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@Matt_The_1st: I think the saying "every man for himself" was made up by women tired of making sandwiches
@007Pepe_Rex: When you're in the voting booth this fall, remember that Abe Lincoln didn't slay all those vampires so that Trump could become President.
@KeetPotato: sheep: "why do we all look the same?" other sheep: "it freaks me out tbh" another sheep: "i dont even know which one of us is me"
@CulturedRuffian: I just want the confidence of my grandpa in church taking a call from the pharmacy on speaker phone to confirm his Viagra prescription.