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@dtee83: The Man-whisperer. My dog at 6am.
@FoxCGrandpa: Reading my shopping list and finding "a shit ton of oats" clearly in goat handwriting again
@mjkspeaks: Women hate it when you call them ma'am or sleep with their friends.
@hobo_hands: Having swords for arms was a terrible first wish but it was a genie and I blurt weird things out when I panic.
@Strippers_Diary: "Can I buy you a drink?"
"I'd rather just have the money"
@Peauxtassium: I’ve always taught my children that no matter what race or religion, all good looking people deserve respect.