@1Bad_Scientist: The Martian, 2015: Matt Damon tries to prove how Irish he is by growing potatoes on Mars then leaving because he's hungry.
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@TheOnlyMANiC: Imagine Putting £5 worth of fuel in your car and your cars like "well, since we're both being childish" And refuses to open the door.
@WritePlay: *1st date* "Nothing's sexier than a man who can surprise me & make me laugh" *cut to me in her closet in a clown suit* "Hellooo soulmate"
@KentWGraham: You act like no one at work has ever asked you to apply ointment to a bunion before.
@bourgeoisalien: If I was the editor of Vogue, I'd just put an actual skeleton on the cover with the headline, "Feel bad yet? You should, Fatty."