@TheTalkingPipe: The milk in my fridge went bad. It beat up my orange juice and started selling meth to all the condiments.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@therealeatwood: NARRATOR: Here we see the gentle reindeer gamboling in the woods… DASHER: [pushing stack of Xmas cookies] Raise NARRATOR: I SAID GAMBOLING
@summerofbenny: Did a little math tonight. Need to do 3,527 hours of cardio to get down to my ideal weight by summer, and not consume any calories.