@EllieM72: The moderator needs a spray bottle. Each time someone interrupts, they could just be like: "NO! BAD PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE! BAD!! *spray*
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@BatBatshitcrazy: Shout out to my neighbors for the 2:00 am fireworks; I hope you enjoyed my 7:00 am weed whacking.
@IvoryGazelle: [inventing chalk] We want something that young children can use to play and learn with, but we also need to be able to outline dead bodies.
@Lowenaffchen: My wife set up a spycam and found out my sons "speech impediment" was from 5 years of me talking to him in Borat voice while she was at work
@Reverend_Scott: Princess Peach: Something's different. You seem taller. Luigi wearing Mario's red overalls: No, nothing is different. It'sa me, Mario.