@OhNoSheTwitnt: The moral of Snow White is if a woman poisons you because you're prettier than her, find some men to chase her off a cliff while you sleep.
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@shopkins776: Gf: "You want to know what your problem is?" Me: *looks at watch* "Ok, but our dinner reservation is in six hours"
@DaddyJew: Sneaking up on me from behind while I'm doing dishes is a super fun way to get yourself stabbed with a steak knife