@TheTweetOfGod: The more I learn about Myself the more atheist I become.
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@EJGomez: [sees a baby spit up after drinking from baby bottle] "lmao yo who invited the lightweight"
@OfficeofSteve: Ben-Hur was actually called, Fast & The Furious: Jerusalem Drift, but the name didn't catch on like they had hoped
@Sean_Burgundy_: Apparently "Which one?" wasn't the best answer when my gf's dad asked me "What are your intentions with my daughter?"
@TheTobbie: Just recorded the baby crying so I can play it back to him while he tries to sleep later to see how he likes it...