@TheTweetOfGod: The more I learn about Myself the more atheist I become.
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@Black__Elvis: I'm romantic so I treat my girlfriend to a candlelight dinner every night, plus she's getting fat and candlelight has like zero calories.
@heymonroe: There aren't enough love songs about the moment you see your luggage appear at baggage claim.
@Reverend_Scott: [firing squad] Any last requests? "Here's my mixtape, if u like it, will u let me live?" Yes. *listens* Oh man that's FIRE *gunshots*