@hero_ofthenight: The more laundry I do, the less nudists seem crazy to me.
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@Brampersandon_: KID: I'm starting to feel like I'll never find a Coke with my name on it MOM: Just keep looking, Dangquestrious
@mishakey: I was telling this chick how I almost died during childbirth and she asked me when I'm having another one. I SAID I ALMOST DIED, CRAZY LADY.
@bashfulcoward: Girls love it when guys: - are respectful - are handsome - eat watermelon really fast and spit out the seeds like a machine gun