@ieatanddrink: The more you learn about Ebola, the more terrifying it is
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@Book_Krazy: *Aquarium GUIDE: Octopuses are sensitive to camera flash so please turn off...ma'am don't flash the octopus ME: [pulls shirt back down] ok
@TheGladStork: When my wife pisses me off, I get on her Pinterest and pin lots of mediocre shit, like cupcakes that just look like cupcakes.
@MandiAtRandom: I'm an early bird and a night owl, so I'm basically some form of permanently exhausted pigeon