@chuchugoogoo: the most dangerous dog breed is probably the Crime Lab
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@GABBYdaAngSaya: Her: Couldn't you have picked a better record to beat? Me: *covered in 13,000 bees* There's no way this can end badly, Susan.
@CarpentersCrack: Ron on Facebook says he hopes to be stuck on a dessert island, so naturally I commented "that sounds delicious".
@iamburtjarvis: [2016, cincinnati zoo. boy falls into the enclosure] other gorilla: something brought a boy to the yard harambe [making a milkshake]: SHIT