@SaraThomas84: The most dangerous piece of machinery a person can operate while drinking is the telephone
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@BuckyIsotope: I accidentally said HAIL SANTA instead of HAIL SATAN at satanic church today and now everyone is laughing at me and they took away my robes.
@StarWarsProblms: Luke: Did you get the card I made you? Vader: I couldn’t read it. Your handwriting is awful. Luke: I HAD TO WRITE WITH MY LEFT HAND.
@sageboggs: Worst flight I've ever been on. Waited for hours, plane never left the ground.. I'm never flying Airbnb again