@XplodingUnicorn: The most disappointing moment of my adult life was when I found out a vaporizer is an e-cigarette and not a death ray that vaporizes people.
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@bryanmcc74: How amazing is it that nobody in the same Kingdom as Cinderella , had the same sized feet as her ? She should play the lottery too !
@_SetTheHook_: I'm just gonna put an egg under my kid's pillows and tell them the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy must've went out drinking the night before.
@ddsmidt: Remember don't judge, you never know what another person is going through Unless they're constantly oversharing on Facebook, then go ahead
@jazmasta: Maybe the reason that goats are so angry is because they don't have hands to stroke those magnificent beards with while pondering quandaries