@XplodingUnicorn: The most disappointing moment of my adult life was when I found out a vaporizer is an e-cigarette and not a death ray that vaporizes people.
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@MandyUncle: If there's one thing I've learnt in life it's to stay clothed during sensitive conversations.
@runawaycupcake: If I had known what cleaning a toilet is like with a husband and two sons I would've become a lesbian.
@pleatedjeans: "Ostriches can't fly" said the totally racist stewardess who made me dismount my ostrich & board the plane on foot like a lowly commoner