@iamnotdiddy: The most embarrassing thing about mistaking pilates class for pirates class is concealing my musket.
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@Birdhumms: Restless leg syndrome does not give you the right to swiftly kick people whenever you feel like it. I know that now.. 😆
@_making_friends: me: damnit, i forgot to get my bus fare reimbursed this month sally: go see gary in HR, he's pretty flexible [walks in on gary doing yoga]
@tomw1984: I'm off work next week so I'm gonna throw this knife at a map, where it lands I go. *throws knife, misses map.* Space, I'm going to space
@liv_thatsme: *writes kid's name in sharpie on arm every morning instead of getting tattoo just in case they end up being a disappointment*