@Jesssicle: The most exercise I get from my exercise ball is when I move it around in my apartment so that it's not in my way.
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@JohnLyonTweets: [heaven] Abraham Lincoln: If only I'd stayed in that night instead of going to that show. Batman's parents: Same.
@davidkenny100: Actually, no I don't spend my day arguing and working on format tweets! Narrator: he does though Shut up Narrator: you shut up!
@onion_an: Me: I had to take your hamster back to the shop Son: Why [nervous because I accidentally ran him over with a lawnmower] Me: He's a racist