@carlyken: The most important lesson I learned from watching The Muppet Show is when cooking meth always test your product on the drummer of the band
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@kathybotteas: Back in the day my parents wanted me to marry only one of my own. Now they're like "That orangutan looks nice. That elephant looks smart."
@ibid78: When life hands you lemons make sure those lemons aren't evidence in a murder that life's trying to frame you for.