@_youhadonejob1: The most Russian headline ever.
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@Donna_McCoy: Computer problems can be solved with duct tape if you apply it directly to the mouth of the person asking you to help fix their computer.
@ericsshadow: ME: I had salmon for lunch WIFE: the L is silent, idiot ME: haha I knew that, I meant unch
@MrFjayy: Me: your shoes are on the wrong feet 4yo: Me: ....... 4yo:......... Me : 4yo : but I don't have any other feet Me : fair enough --__--
@iamspacegirl: Me *writing*: she was like 12 slices of key lime pie in a dress- tart, cool, totally whipped. Her: I can hear you. Me: she could hear me