@_youhadonejob1: The most Russian headline ever.
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@papasuncle: ATM is telling me I have insufficient funds. Worst part is I was just walking by minding my own business.
@XplodingUnicorn: My 4-year-old thinks the 5-second rule means she can eat anything off the floor if she waits 5-seconds first. That M&M was from last Easter.
@PaperWash: People without kids: I'll never yell at my kids People with kids: I DONT KNOW WHY SOMEONE SPIT THEIR GUM ON THE ROAD JUST WALK!