@NicestHippo: The most trusted name in news
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@DanMentos: "I've got cat-like T-Rexes" Don't you mean cat-like reflexes? *Tyrannosaurus pounces on you*
@Girliegurll: I just spent 38 minutes on the phone w my mother. And she couldn't tell I was drinking. I'm worried about her, now.
@graceful_asfuck: Interviewer: Where do you want to be in 5 years? Me: Oh, it doesn't matter. You will have fired me well before then.