@Evan_Hadfield: The most uncomfortable moment in my day is the time spent waiting in silence while someone searches for a 'funny' YouTube clip I *need* to see.
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@Iwriteforcats: The best part about being a comma is that you're usually followed by a nice big BUT.
@ArfMeasures: SON: Jake's dad is so cool, he took him to Disney World! ME: well, what if I did that? SON: omg you're the best! [Next week at Disney World] "Can't believe we're here!" ME: Thank my son when we get home Jake, it was his idea
@Sassafrantz: Sorry I unfriended you after seeing your Facebook "Year In Review" but it was bad enough the first time.
@TeaAndCopy: WIFE: Kate's new baby is 7lbs 11oz ME: WIFE: Roughly ½ a stone ME: WIFE: 3½ kilos ME: WIFE: [sigh] a four pack of beer ME: Oh cool