@david8hughes: The movie 'Up' is utter bullshit. I tied 57,000 balloons to my house & my wife didn't die.
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@LindaInDisguise: Listening to a global economy futurist. Pretty sure in 20 years Chinese parents will say "Clean your plate, people in the US are starving."
@Sarcasticsapien: Coworker: Guess what day it is? Me: Don't. CW: Guess what day it is? Me: Don't. CW: It's hum.. [30 min later] Cop: So you stapled his lips?
@thebeckyard: I was completely offended, but then you said "no offense," so now everything's cool.
@foursquids: Can't believe people still say "pot" it's not the 70s anymore we call it "saucepan" now