@TheAlexNevil: The Mrs recognizes my "tell" when I've seen an attractive woman: my eyes pop 4 inches out of their sockets and I make a loud "A-OOGA" noise.
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@CroweJam: Named my hamster Spam so when he dies I can bury him in a little tin coffin with his name on it.
@badbanana: That guy who ran through the White House could go to prison for ten years, so there's another reason I don't run.
@gg21462: The guy behind me honked a nanosecond after the light turned green. So I put on my flashers and here I sit, tweeting about the whole thing