@CauseWereGuys: The name CONstitution sounds so negative. Since 'pro' is the opposite of 'con' we should call it prosti..... oh wait.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@dorsalstream: ADAM: Let's take turns naming animals. EVE: Ok. Lion. A: Um, sea lion. E: Horse. A: Uh, seahorse E: Cow. A: Sea cow. E: Idiot. A: Sea idiot!
@mynameisntdave: GUY: I dare you ME: no G: I double dog dare you ME: no G: I TRIPLE dog dare you! ME: [realizing if I keep this up ill get a lot of dogs] no
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: What did you learn in kindergarten today? 5-year-old: A doughnut would help me remember. Apparently she learned bribery.
@batkaren: I lovingly caress my belly. "You're expecting?" a woman asks. I smile serenely. "Just ate an amazing burrito," I tell her.