@robdelaney: The name Corey is short for Coriander. Coreys will try & tell you it's not but they are lying.
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@LlamaInaTux: Me: can you make sure this diamond ring is in the bottom of her drink? I want it to be a really special moment McDonald's employee: ok
@abbycohenwl: Me (texting): Help I'm in the pantry hiding from the murderer Murderer: Probably shouldn't have used speech-to-text
@Bob_Janke: Fun experiment: Go into any store and ask for "the big stupid looking guy" see who they bring you