@TheAlexNevil: Go ahead and assume it's a banana; I'm rarely that happy to see anyone.

@DaddyJew: According to this box of spaghetti I am an Italian family of 8

@Sal0630: My girl must be planning a big April fools joke or something. She's been agreeing w/ me all morning. Either that or she got mad cow disease.

@david8hughes: [steps off treadmill] "Hey girl [out of breath, hands on knee] you like f-fitness? Cos I'm fitn--" "Shall I call an ambulance?" "Please."

@murrman5: do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth "starting now?" yes "the judge looks like squints from the sandlot"