@swandive2222: Yes, I've been in love before. I've also had salmonella poisoning and you don't see me running back for seconds.

@ShutUpThatsWho: ME: make a clone of me for my wife SCIENTIST: ok [makes a George Clooney] ME: I said clone not Clooney. take it back WIFE: wait a minute

@LostBrainwaves: Alligators gonna alligate

@realHamOnWry: The local sperm bank now has a quick serve location with a drive-thru window. It's called Jack-It-In-The-Box.

@ShortSleeveSuit: Blacksmith *shoes a horse* Swordsmith *forges a blade* Aerosmith *gives a groupie gonorrhea*