@SodomyClown: The Nationwide commercial didn't make me feel anything but I once dropped my chicken nuggets and cried for an hour and forty minutes.
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@TheRealMelskee: Jehovah's witnesses don't celebrate Halloween, I'm guessing it's because they don't appreciate random people coming up to their doors.
@GrantTanaka: Nietzsche: God is dead God: Nietzsche is dead [they both turn to camera] THAT'S RIGHT, WE'RE DEAD SERIOUS ABOUT OUR MATTRESS PRICES
@Parentpains: Whenever I hear about a man jumping off a bridge I can't help but wonder how long he was dating my ex.