@STEELERS1972: The neighborhood is having a meeting tonight about the creepy guy & I'm the only one not invited. Weird.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@bggas400: She's got the face of an angel, a heart of gold, & a body that won't quit. Who cares that she curses like a trucker and drinks like a fish.
@squirrel74wkgn: [at hotel] Friend: Heard your wife last night...she's a screamer [flashback to my toenail scratching her leg in bed] Me: Yep, nailed her
@rolldiggity: Fun Game: 1. Be a couple without kids. 2. Hire a babysitter. 3. When they show up and ask where the kid is, scream, "You lost it already?!?"
@MaraWritesStuff: BROTHER: The Godfather is on? That's not very Thanksgiving-y. ME: Well, it's about family...