@STEELERS1972: The neighborhood is having a meeting tonight about the creepy guy & I'm the only one not invited. Weird.
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@themorris23: Octopus 1-you up for tennis? Octopus 2- I cant my tennis elbows are actin up again Octo1-..we dont have elb Octo2- I DONT WANNA PLAY CARL
@WheelTod: Not saying dogs are better than kids in every aspect; but good luck finding a kid willing to lick up his own vomit.
@MichaelTrying: Darwin is a genius. Just realized I'm attracted to women in glasses because I'm more likely to reproduce with a woman who can't see me well.
@FrogAvalanche: 911: Whats ur emergency? "OMG my neighbours cat is stuck on the roof-" 911: Ma'am, this is an emergency only service- "-of my sons mouth."