@RidiculousSheri: The neighbors with the baby moved out, and now the loudest crying heard throughout the entire apartment complex comes from me.
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@jwoodham: I can't make it tonight. There's a couple fighting at Target and the guy just started sarcastically clapping. I need to see where this goes.
@Smug_Lemur: *at psychic reading* Psychic: you probably think you're wasting your time Me: Ooh you're good
@mompsychologist: Me:"If you ever give me another gift with 'some assembly required', you're dead to us." 6:*writing thank you card* But, um.. Me: Write it!