@ryaninco: The neighbors yard smells like weed. I'm glad those seeds I threw over the fence are starting to grow.
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@thepoetknight: *pays $20 for deluxe car wash* *hits roughly 3,287,998 bugs during 2 mile drive home*
@jazmasta: "Please. I need this" I whisper as a 14 year old girl starts to get the better of me in an arm wrestling match.
@_SingleBabyMama: Me: *Reaches over, cuts up food, says "open wide" & starts making airplane noises* Guy: *stunned silence* -Single Mama on a date