@ryaninco: The neighbors yard smells like weed. I'm glad those seeds I threw over the fence are starting to grow.
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@SleazySli: What do you get when you cross a Centaur with a Minotaur? Cinnaminotaur. The most delicious of all mythological creatures.
@ChrisScarlette: [being robbed] Me: careful.. I'm ARMED *whips out bible Robber: lol *pulls gun out of bible R: oh *pulls smaller bible out of gun
@theshamingofjay: My son just said he doesn't like cheese and now I have to interview all the mailmen in my neighborhood
@HepatitisAtoZ: chore hatred level: considering becoming a raw food vegan and drinking straight from the garden hose to avoid doing dishes