@Hobo_Splendido: The nephew I'm babysitting has been in a corn maze since Thursday, but I rationalize by thinking he has plenty to eat.
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@ch000ch: need to find a better way to trick my dog into taking his medication bc the last 2 times he tricked me into taking it
@mattgallo123: Plastic silverware: because the only thing I hate more than poisoning the environment is washing dishes.
@Book_Krazy: Me: Hi. Can I help you? Him: I'm here about the wanted ad for the one night stand Me: Great. Where is it? Him: What? Me: The nightstand.