@omerwahaj: The new iPhone 7 is just a slower, heavier, thicker, and much less attractive version of the iPhone 8.
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@MartinPilgrim1: My top 3 assumptions when doorbell rings: 1. Murderer 2. Police telling me everyone is dead 3. That book I ordered about positive thinking
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Babies are like tattoos. They're yours forever and maybe wait a few days before posting pictures of them so they're not all gross looking.
@philyuck: The Molotov cocktail is of course named after Vitaly Molotov, an 18th century Russian industrialist who exploded after being thrown at a car