@JennyJohnsonHi5: The new neighbors moved in today. I brought them a box of condoms to show how much I don't want anymore children living on our street.
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@ThatBrenna: *takes cat from pocket of doctor's coat & holds it over patient* He has finished his scan. He says he doesn't like you & you have cancer.
@SortaBad: Cop: Tell us what you know! Me: Penguins are monogamous creatures with noted cases of bisexuality Cop: *typing up his science report*