@noog: The news
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@AndrewNadeau0: REPORTER: How do you feel after serving 6 months under house arrest? ME: I did not realize that had started.
@peeznuts: *standing behind home plate* -Beware of my dog-like reflexes. -Shouldn't it be cat-like reflexes? *catches baseball with my face*
@PortlandiaGirl: There's no point in using a big word, when an infinitesimally diminutive one will do.