@TimFernholz: The @NewYorker buying Twitter ads to promote its article about how Twitter is dying kind of undercuts the thesis
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@rickolantern: They grow up so fast. My nephew lost his first tooth Saturday night In a fight a with a bouncer
@ojedge: [cash4gold] Man in a coat: [holding gold bar] "How much is this worth?" "It's 25 carats…" [8 rabbits rustle excitedly beneath trench-coat]
@1Happytwit: Kids don't scare me cause their little arms aren't strong enough to swing a chainsaw.
@zachreinert03: One of my buddies lost his right arm in a car accident which is a huge bummer, so much money wasted on tattoos