@TimFernholz: The @NewYorker buying Twitter ads to promote its article about how Twitter is dying kind of undercuts the thesis
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@cambuslad: Today Mother phoned asked me what I was doing . I said I was on Google maps and looking at her house .She asked if I could see her waving .
@AimeeHelene1: Ma'am...we're going to have to ask you to get off of the table. Ma'am... (me, trying to cuddle with my bacon cheese fries)
@eminmien: "There's nothing wrong with being single." No. "I've got plenty of time." Sure. "I'm not lonely." Sir, are you going to buy anything?