@savvystrider: The next person to tell me a joke about Indians & call centers is getting beaten to death with my snake charming flute.
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@panmidwest: IMPROV COACH: you can't just decide last minute to skip practice ME: I really don't know what you want from me
@TragicAllyHere: [Casually but methodically making my way through a party until I secure a spot next to the snacks] Quietly, as if into earpiece: "I'm in."
@FinnMcIver: our teacher used to make us do 100 lines if we'd been naughty. my nose was wrecked at the end of it
@SamuelMoen: Impress your date. Be wild. Flip the table. Flip it 360 so its upright again & nothing has moved except a roll that has flown into her mouth