@savvystrider: The next person to tell me a joke about Indians & call centers is getting beaten to death with my snake charming flute.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@dafloydsta: [job interview] "Name one of your strengths" I didn't stab anyone today "That's not-" Yesterday wasn't so good tho
@RegularFred: Pizza is like racism. America didn't invent it, but it's hard to find a country that does it better.
@SchlubbyHubby: Lately I'm very optimistic about the future of my marriage... I caught my husband on Tinder, so hopefully he'll meet somebody... soon...
@audipenny: [god, creating chickens] Put a red beard on a fat hiccuping sparrow. Give him a matching hat, I don't care