@savvystrider: The next person to tell me a joke about Indians & call centers is getting beaten to death with my snake charming flute.
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@Brentweets: "Do you need help with your math homework Billy?" "Yeah I sure do Dad!" "Well you're shit out of luck"
@DosieDoe: *Do not consume if seal is broken* I’ve just gone through this whole box of animal crackers and haven’t found one seal.
@CerebralWreck: Wife [interrogating]: How long have we been married dear? Me: How dare you try and sneak maths into this.