@humanwarnings: The next time I hang out with people who start making out in front of me, I'm going to start flossing my teeth in front of them.
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@leechee420: I'm sorry sir, your wife didn't make it. Was it *sniff* the lack of prayers on Facebook? Yes sir, I'm afraid it was.
@BeardSpice: *walks into bank* THIS IS A ROBBERY *people drop to the floor* JUST KIDDING, BUT NOW THAT YOU'RE LISTENING *lowers guns* A TOMATO IS A FRUIT