@humanwarnings: The next time I hang out with people who start making out in front of me, I'm going to start flossing my teeth in front of them.
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@galiamango: Can't speak for all women but generally I'll just keep nagging until you agree with me, sometimes even after that. You know, for sport.
@Reverend_Scott: [interview] Okay, don't let him know ur a vampire. "What kind of person do u see when u look in the mirror?" OH COME ON
@SteveSuckington: "How about if I put a balloon over it? Would you touch it then?" -guy who invented condoms
@Chelsea_Elle: Leaving my browser history open in case anyone in this coffee shop tries to steal my laptop when I'm in the bathroom.