@calluptome: The next time there's an awkward silence, try whispering, "Did you forget your line?"
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@Bentono10: So today I was lookin at a girl bcuz she had a piece of lettuce in her hair & she looks at me and said "I have a boyfriend" ok lettuce head
@juneohara65: "The only difference between heterosexual and homosexual sex is which hole you stick it in." ~my mother after a few drinks
@HeyZeus666: I lost a very dear friend and drinking buddy in a tragic accident this weekend. He got his finger caught in a wedding band.
@krishna_van: I don't always say 'oops', but when I do, it's usually ten minutes after I have a brilliant idea.