@Donna_McCoy: The nice bed in my guest room says "Get comfortable." But the shower stall with no tub in the bath say "Not too comfortable."
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@KeetPotato: friend who's just been travelling: "in thailand there's an energy that connects with my aura" me: "in spain onion rings have squid inside"
@Sickayduh: "What's that?" - My new boss. He's very deciduous" "Decisive?" - Nope. I carved him from a potted tree. *squirrel peeks out of his mouth*
@garrettbarry70: The hotel has a live band and my favourite song is "We're going for a break now, we'll be back later"
@jwoodham: Welcome to Applebee's! Can I take your order or do you need a few minutes to reflect on the mistakes you made in life that led you here?