@ForeverHairy: The nice thing about getting a pet lobster is that you can always threaten to eat it when your kid stops taking care of it.
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@BlindChow: *man choking* Is there a doc in the house? *Dr Pepper rises* *searches man's pockets* Hey ur no doctor! *moustache falls off* *it's Mr Pibb*
@vivalamoi448: 4 yo: Mommy, it feels so good. Me: What does? 4 yo: To be a gangster. Me: ... Go tell your father I said to come here.