@chopper4jk: The nice thing about Hide-and-Seek is your children voluntarily go in a closet and be quiet for 3 hours.
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@LackOfShame: "How can I waste ten seconds of someone's time and make total strangers hate me?" - Credit card chip inventor - Me, writing tweets
@MarfSalvador: Reporter: Is it true you delivered a pig with TWO heads?! Farmer: Yes I did Farmer's second head: WE did
@causticbob: A survey shows that 20% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house and 80% kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife..