@chopper4jk: The nice thing about Hide-and-Seek is your children voluntarily go in a closet and be quiet for 3 hours.
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@GorillaNipples1: *wife is out of town* Do I dare leave the toilet seat up? *looks around and shrugs* Screw it. This is my house. *falls into toilet at 3AM*
@rolldiggity: CASHIER: "Did you find everything you were looking for?" ME: "Oh, yes..." [places "How To Murder A Cashier" book on counter]
@juliussharpe: After watching "Breaking Bad" and the VMAs in the same night, I think I'd rather my kid be a meth dealer than a musician.