@JElvisWeinstein: The nicotine patch is great. I get my addiction out of the hands of the evil tobacco industry and into the loving arms of big pharma.
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@chicnlil1: Dear boyfriend, i can make ur girlfriend scream louder than u can. Sincerely, spiders
@ilovepie84: My friend said his baby is sooo smart but the stupid idiot can't even figure out his way home when I forget him on the bus