@RamblingMachine: The noblest of dogs is the hot dog, it feeds the hand that bites it.
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@BoogTweets: If they ever invent time travel my dad would still insist on leaving early to avoid traffic
@Token_Geezer: Fun Prank: Use Bluetooth to play 30 second blasts of Napalm Death on your neighbours stereo. They’ll think they have a poltergeist and move
@clindsaysway: Cat doesn't realize if he succeeds in tripping me on the way downstairs to feed him, we all die.