@juliussharpe: The NSA has been tracking phone records for Verizon customers. They skipped AT&T because those people can't complete calls.
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@panmidwest: THERAPIST: what's wrong? WIFE: he makes us watch Gladiator every single day! ME: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?
@Ixwie: Ever show ur mum a tweet that u find funny and instead of laughing she just asks 'who's that?' Like I don't know but that's not the point