@cheeky__gal: The number of STDs I can spell without autocorrect really bothers me.
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@KevinFarzad: I carry a rolled up yoga mat so people think I'm fit but really it's just a great way to hold 2 footlong meatball subs.
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Check it out! I'm juggling! Wife: Me: Wife: You're supposed to use more than one ball. Me: Can't you just be happy for me?
@TheAlexNevil: Be a good dad When your son wants to play catch, do it When he needs a hug, give one When he wants to play drums, tell him his mom said no