@cheeky__gal: The number of STDs I can spell without autocorrect really bothers me.
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@therealeatwood: BRAIN: Wake up! Someone’s knocking on the door of your hotel room! ME: No one is knocking and I’m not at a hotel. BRAIN: Haha, you’re up tho
@jazmasta: No, I can't make it to your hair washing party tonight. I'm washing my h... erm i mean my dog ate my grandmother is dead.
@LionJenkins: Friendly advice: Don't compare your girlfriend to an avocado. Even if she IS the good kind of fat.